Available Now: $200 Pet Rocks

Caption: i vant to suck your blood...I vant to suck your blood!

The New York Times reported yesterday that the candibots who are today opening the active sales phase of the political marketing process will be spending about $200 per “vote” they harvest in Iowa.

Given that absolutely nothing is at stake in the so-called “election,” this makes the infamous 95 percent of the “cost” part of the retail price of a tube of corporate-brand toothpaste that goes to cover the marketing (not the making) of the dentifrice a comparatively excellent deal. The numbers here are promotion 100, content zero.

Vote for Mike Gravel, or just stay home.