Cadillac Parallax: “High School with Money”

Cadillac, the second-most disgusting (after Hummer) branch of General Motors, is running a new television ad for its rolling super-atrocity, the Escalade “SUV.”

In the new ad, the snotty, moronic driver comments about how, now that he’s gone ahead and bought himself an Escalade, he can finally come out and say what everybody knows: At bottom, life is really just “high school with money.”

This, of course, is a focus-group-tested enticement to those who might afford the Escalade’s $57,000+ price-tag to indulge themselves by — as the jackass in the ad says — “graduating” into the reality of acquisitive trampling embodied in this awful product.

Now, it’s not often that corporate marketing messages convey much truth. Yet, at least this one time, I do think there’s something quite true, if only unintentionally so, to be seen here: The “high school with money” line strikes me as being a rather powerful description of the social psychology of the American overclass and its upper-middle-class fringes.

If you doubt this, I would challenge you to go into a yupper-class neighborhood and spend a few hours observing the words, actions, and physiognomies of the clipped, flippant, spoiled, self-indulgent little seekers the system attracts into its top positions. These Biffs and Buffies do indeed behave like a pack of rollicking 17-year-old partyers. Hell, with all the sweatsuits, the ball-caps, the hot rods, and the near-universal huffing-up of Botox and hair dye, they even LOOK like a clique of narcissistic hallway debs and jock/bullies, albeit rather ghoulish, cadaverish ones.

And, just like real high-school brats, they also have utterly, absolutely no idea that their world might turn out to be anything other than natural and timeless. Clueless is as clueless does.