Saturday, January 2nd, 2010
No Arguing Now: “Bono” is a Moron
OMFG! ROFLMFAO!
So, like the like genius like they like call “Bono,” well, like The like New York like Times like totally ran like an editorial by, like, “Bono.” Topic? Ten things “Bono” says need doing to save the world, from the point of view of “Bono,” and of course that’s pretty much the voice of God, isn’t it?
Anyhow, if you think Sarah Palin is dumb and misinformed, you need to pay some attention to her competition here.
Literally, literally every single word of this latest “Bono” sermon that isn’t meaningless poseur claptrap is stark proof of what a corrupt penis “Bono” has become, or maybe always was.
Permit me to cite just one segment of Sir Blowhole’s stunningly stupid and gullible (or worse) Pontiff-ication. Here is His saintly take on our transportation needs in the 21st century. I shit you not: “Bono,” apparently, wrote this, without intending to make a joke:
Return of the Automobile as a Sexual Object
How is it that the country that made us all fall in love with the automobile has failed, with only a few exceptions, to produce a single family sedan with the style and humor and grace of the cars produced in the ’40s, ’50s and ’60s? Put aside the question of whether those models were male (as in longer, lower and wider, Dr. Freud) or female (as in fender skirts, curvy belt lines and, of course, headlights). Either way, they all had sex appeal. (In Ireland in the ’70s, it was the E-Type Jag that made sense of puberty.) Today, however, we have the mundanity of our marriage to the minivan and the S.U.V. and long-term relationships with midsize cars that are, forgive me, a little heavy in the rear cargo hold.
Are aerodynamics to blame? Economics? Or that most American of inventions, design by committee? It hurts me to say this about democracy (and I know because my band is one), but rarely does majority rule produce something of beauty.
That’s why the Obama administration — while it still holds the keys to the big automakers — ought to put some style fascists into the mix: the genius of Marc Newson … Steve Jobs and Jonny Ive from Apple … Frank Gehry, the architect, and Jeff Koons, the artist. Put the great industrial designers in the front seat, right along with sound financial stewardship … the greener, the cleaner, the meaner on fossil fuels, the sexier for me. Check out the Tesla or the Fisker Karma car, designed by the same team that gave the world the Aston Martin.
You can’t possibly, imaginably make this stuff up! Nobody would believe you if you did.
“Dr. Freud,” indeed! Paul Hewson is on the couch!
January 2nd, 2010 at 7:42 pm
Eugyppius said:
I’m glad I’m not the only one who saw that garbage. I still can’t shake the feeling that half of it is some kind of failed attempt at irony. I mean he actually exhorts his readers to “Trust in capitalism — we’ll find a way.”
Oh, and I liked his whining about file sharing:
“A decade’s worth of music file-sharing and swiping has made clear that the people it hurts are the creators….”
Also, somehow the world has gotten really democratic and we all missed it:
“A lot of us have seen or lived the organizational chart of the last century, in which power and influence are concentrated in the uppermost point of the pyramid and pressure is exerted downward. But in this new century, and especially in some parts of the developing world, the pyramid is being inverted.”
I mean, YHTBFKM.
But there’s a logic to the spectacle. Bono only gets a soapbox because his idiocy discredits more serious criticisms of the system from the left.
January 3rd, 2010 at 11:34 am
Michael Dawson said:
Bono has crossed over into being destructive and dangerous. He’s a man of the right, passing himself off as a rebel.
And how about that “all of us” comment about the population that loves automobiles. This from a guy who claims to cry tears for Africa! Uganda, for instance boasts 2 automobiles per 1,000 people. Malawi? Less than 1.
January 3rd, 2010 at 4:57 pm
ray said:
I could never decide which I disliked more: fucking “Bono” and his self-aggrandizing bullshit, or his crappy band and all their easy serve “hits”, which were the toast of all the frat-boys at the McUniversity I attended.
January 3rd, 2010 at 5:14 pm
nercules said:
What a grandly delicious load of wank this is.
Bono’s like Obama: We keep lowering the bar, and the creeps keep watusi-ing until the bar’s on the ground. And then the bar disappears!
January 7th, 2010 at 8:55 am
gmanedit said:
Bono ate my pension.
Seriously. He and his partner in a fund bought 40 percent of the company I was working for. The company decided to save money by cutting off pension funding for certain classes of people. My whole group got cut off—we were two months short of the ten years’ cutoff point.
Also, U2 fled to Amsterdam to avoid paying Irish taxes.
Fraud and poseur. Always was.
January 7th, 2010 at 11:29 am
Michael Dawson said:
Well, how lovely, G-man! I can just imagine how terrific Mal-o must feel whipping around in the “E Type” he probably bought with your retirement savings…
Christ! To think I used to like this guy!
March 20th, 2010 at 6:21 pm
Jeanne said:
gmanedit, I hope you take comfort in the fact that Bono’s investment in your former company has been a complete bust so far. In fact, pretty much everything he’s invested in outside the band, except for that video game company, has been a robust failure.
March 21st, 2010 at 10:16 am
Michael Dawson said:
My guess is that this clown is so high on his own fumes, he imagines that the mere act of his grand self investing in something will make it work…
That, plus he obviously has no serious understanding of capitalism.
October 11th, 2010 at 11:30 pm
Johan Adams said:
Meanwhile, this moron flies around the world in a private jet, followed by at least one (sometimes two) cargo planes carrying his “equipment” (read : luggage). Hypocrite !
February 18th, 2011 at 4:25 pm
John said:
Does Bono wear sunglasses, because subconsciously he feels such a hypocrite that he cannot look anyone in the eye?