Archive for January, 2010
Saturday, January 2nd, 2010
No Arguing Now: “Bono” is a Moron
OMFG! ROFLMFAO!
So, like the like genius like they like call “Bono,” well, like The like New York like Times like totally ran like an editorial by, like, “Bono.” Topic? Ten things “Bono” says need doing to save the world, from the point of view of “Bono,” and of course that’s pretty much the voice of God, isn’t it?
Anyhow, if you think Sarah Palin is dumb and misinformed, you need to pay some attention to her competition here.
Literally, literally every single word of this latest “Bono” sermon that isn’t meaningless poseur claptrap is stark proof of what a corrupt penis “Bono” has become, or maybe always was.
Permit me to cite just one segment of Sir Blowhole’s stunningly stupid and gullible (or worse) Pontiff-ication. Here is His saintly take on our transportation needs in the 21st century. I shit you not: “Bono,” apparently, wrote this, without intending to make a joke:
Return of the Automobile as a Sexual Object
How is it that the country that made us all fall in love with the automobile has failed, with only a few exceptions, to produce a single family sedan with the style and humor and grace of the cars produced in the ’40s, ’50s and ’60s? Put aside the question of whether those models were male (as in longer, lower and wider, Dr. Freud) or female (as in fender skirts, curvy belt lines and, of course, headlights). Either way, they all had sex appeal. (In Ireland in the ’70s, it was the E-Type Jag that made sense of puberty.) Today, however, we have the mundanity of our marriage to the minivan and the S.U.V. and long-term relationships with midsize cars that are, forgive me, a little heavy in the rear cargo hold.
Are aerodynamics to blame? Economics? Or that most American of inventions, design by committee? It hurts me to say this about democracy (and I know because my band is one), but rarely does majority rule produce something of beauty.
That’s why the Obama administration — while it still holds the keys to the big automakers — ought to put some style fascists into the mix: the genius of Marc Newson … Steve Jobs and Jonny Ive from Apple … Frank Gehry, the architect, and Jeff Koons, the artist. Put the great industrial designers in the front seat, right along with sound financial stewardship … the greener, the cleaner, the meaner on fossil fuels, the sexier for me. Check out the Tesla or the Fisker Karma car, designed by the same team that gave the world the Aston Martin.
You can’t possibly, imaginably make this stuff up! Nobody would believe you if you did.
“Dr. Freud,” indeed! Paul Hewson is on the couch!
