Meet Adam Broitman

As the planet cooks and criminally prepares for World War Three, what are the big brains in the USA’s core industry working on?  No, it ain’t Apple or any other “high tech.”  It’s marketing, and here’s some of the latest entrepreneurial endeavor, per Advertising Age:

As planners seek to extract greater insights from social media, tech entrepreneurs are inventing new ways to engage the social consumer.  An example [is] GroupMe Experience’s Long Island Bike Odyssey, in which friends can share a bike tour on the north shore of Long Island. The trip includes wine tasting, lunch and other amenities. The platform makes it simple to organize and pay for the experience, alleviating the usual hassles that individuals might encounter when trying to organize a group outing.

Upon learning about the details of this new platform, my inner strategic planner asked, “What is the opportunity for brands?” It became clear that there are two:

Branded VIP “experiences.” Staying with the bike tour example, this could be a brand-sponsored trip in which cyclists get to ride with a celebrity.

Brand-underwritten “experiences.” Here the brand would foot the costs, and in return gain access to the participants for opinions and other research. The company’s goal would be to unearth consumer insights from highly targeted social groups.

While the first event could be a powerful branding tool, the second could generate fresh insights for marketers and prove to be a breakthrough in consumer research.

Glory, glory hallelujah!  Truly, we reside in the Age of Miracles, the best of all possible worlds!  Our grandchildren will shower us with thanks that, in our momentous time, such were our priorities! What a gift we are building for them!

Adam-Broitman The genius at work on the above enterprise, by the way, is the great Adam Broitman [pictured at left], “chief creative strategist at Something Massive, which acquired Cir.cus, the agency he co-founded, in March. Broitman has worked in a variety of roles at Digitas, Morpheus Media and Crayon.”

Somehow, the word “crayon” seems about right here…

6 Replies to “Meet Adam Broitman”

  1. Brilliant!, as the impoverished English like to say – a bike tour, of all fatuous products, led by a celebrity, of all fatuous concepts – or better yet, a bike tour, with a celebrity, like, say, Counting Crows’ Adrian Durwitz, in which little Nike electrodes are hooked up to the bike touring nerds to get galvanic shock repsonses when the words TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION -BUY NIKE twitter in nanosecond bursts on their helmet-mounted rear-view mirrors.
    Ah, Broitman, just go write for Portlandia – this would be a massive sketch.
    In an aside, it should not stun the grizzled readers of TCT that James Holmes, according to the Enquirer, got alienated once he received his college diploma, and found that the only work he could get was at a McDonald’s.
    If only the dead left could have supplied him with an outlet for his withering anomie rather than the inert preacher types like Chris Hedges and Ralph Nader, the road to mass murderer might have been diverted. Or perhaps he was completely off his rocker – yet the detail about McDonalds and the worthless degree is surely in line with the TCT thesis.

  2. In regards to the opening paragraph, I am no longer worried about global warming: the nuclear winter will reverse that, LOL.

    Most likely Israel will unilaterally strike Iran. Iran will probably not stay quiet and retaliate, and BOOM, massive new conflict, since we have an “obligation” to defend israel. Hmph. At this point the only wildcart is if China, Russia, India, Iraq, Pakistan will continue to take it, or will decide that it it is time to unite and kick some western azz. Europoe will whine and moan, but probably stick with the plan.

    If, by some miracle we avoid that, in half a century the rest of the world may realize that it has no choice but to be sustainable, at which point the war will be US vs the entire world. Also nuclear.

    The moral of the speculation is: save the world, give each jew a million dollars and give relocate the whole country to a part of Utah.

  3. On an unrelated note, I am very interested to know why do all these marketing geniuses look exactly the same. If the face is window to the soul, that’s one very undeservedly smug, tasteless, desperate, soul

  4. Interesting point, Marla. They either look like they missed out on something during childhood, ala Adam Broitman, or ersatz hipsters.

    As to Israel acting independently, personally, I don’t think there is such a thing. I’d say it’s pretty clear that Zerobama told BB “no” about bombing Iran at some point a year or two ago, and BB complied, knowing from whence his bread gets buttered. I’d be surprised if there’s been any major Israeli military action in the past 40 years that wasn’t okayed by DC.

  5. Well, I’m guessing the system is producing the type of people it needs – which is humans (sorta) that excel in servicing whichever small nook and cranny they’re in charge of, where any moronic refinement is celebrated as an achievement.

    I feel the pull in my own field as well: life is so much easier when you just accept the doctrinal truisms and devote yourself to enthusiastically perfecting them. You get moneyz, trips, perks, and overall lifeless desexualized existence that’s not too far from the docile, meekly ironic, and infantile excuses for humans like these folks. Somebody shoot me now.

  6. As for the war… it’s a crapshoot…
    there’s a chance we could get lucky to avoid the Iran situation specifically.

    However, I worry that a war in the next few decades may be imminent: either US against everybody, or US + Europe.

    At this point, the non-western world has NO options for humane and meaningful development other than sustainable development. *BY DEFINITION* sustainable development means non-capitalist development. Once they realize that, this necessiates a major break and restructuring of the relationships with the west. We have already proven our wilingness to wage horrible direct or proxy wars at the slightest “threat” of independent development.

    You think that the “golden billion” (and especially its rulling elites) will peacefully give away its “right” to exploit the colonial world? I don’t think so. This is when the nukes come in. It’s anyone’s guess if the choice then is going to be between directly enslaved world under the threat of nuclear “enforcement”, or actual nuclear weapons use and the pretense that we are still human in the aftermath.

    Ah well, humanity deserves all the horrors coming down the pipeline. Better luck next time, losers… LOL.

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