Sam Elliott Sucks

Elliott This creep is running his cowboy drawl all over the worst of the worst TV ads for things like pickup trucks and Coors beer.

Elliott’s redneck authenticity is roughly at the same level as the quality of the corporate death bombs products he peddles:

Sam Elliott was born in Sacramento, California, to a physical training instructor mother and a father who worked for the Department of the Interior.[1] He moved from California to Oregon with his family during his teenage years, where he graduated from David Douglas High School in Portland. He attended Clark College in Vancouver, Washington, where he completed a two-year program and was cast as one of the leads in Guys and Dolls. The local newspaper suggested that Elliott should be a professional actor. Soon after, Elliott declared he was going to Hollywood to become a star. Elliott is a member of the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity at Cal State L.A.. He worked in construction while studying acting in Los Angeles.

The Coors beer ads are particularly hilarious, if you’ve ever actually been near Golden, Colorado. It is a craphole on the freeway in the middle of a bone-dry prairie. Not a real mountain or river within 20 miles of the dump-ass company-town exurb.

Let us recall the words of the late Bill Hicks: “Do a commercial, you’re off the artistic roll call. Every word you say is suspect. You’re a corporate whore and eh, end of story.”