The Consumer Trap

Archive for the 'Lies' Category

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

Tony Horwitz: Civil War an “Overreaction”

God, The New York Times sucks!  It just published an op-ed that equates John Brown’s raid on the federal arsenal at Harper’s Ferry with 9-11.

Here is the author, Tony Horwitz’ conclusion:

In 1859, John Brown sought not only to free slaves in Virginia but to terrorize the South and incite a broad conflict. In this he triumphed: panicked whites soon mobilized, militarized and marched double-quick toward secession. Brown’s raid didn’t cause the Civil War, but it was certainly a catalyst. It may be too early to say if 9/11 bred a similar overreaction.

If anything, given the North’s half-hearted, soon-sold attempts at Reconstruction, the Civil War was an UNDER-REACTION.

Jesus!

Saturday, November 14th, 2009

Annals of Commodification: Lotion for Men

As the world careens toward ecocide and social collapse, the corporate capitalists are hard at work thinking of (wait for it…) ways to sell lotion to men:

http://www.strongerskin.com/strongerskin/

It’s  all there — all the standard marketing tactics — in this one.  Lies, flattery, “aspirational” promises, and, of course, a bedrock of carefully-researched intentional fraud.

“Weak skin” is not a real medical problem.  To the extent skin health is a real issue, it is 99 percent determined by diet, water-intake, and lifestyle habits.  Rubbing on lotion does little or nothing to make human skin “strong.”  At most, it makes skin temporarily smooth and greasy feeling.

Of course, you can’t sell lotion to men based on a desire to have soft-feeling skin for a few hours.  Hence, this stunning piece of tendentious diarrhea.

Brought to you by Unilever, the same assholes who also peddle perfume (Axe Body Spray) to teenage boys…

Friday, November 13th, 2009

Executive Pay: Not so Limited

In a follow-up to our last post, here’s today’s news:

Pay czar open to raising salary limits for new hires

November 13, 2009 – 12:01 am ET

WASHINGTON (Reuters) — Two days after GM Chairman Ed Whitacre said the government should loosen its restrictions on executive pay for bailed-out companies, the White House pay czar signaled his willingness to raise salary caps for new hires.

“Caps,” sure.

Friday, November 6th, 2009

Cocoa Krispies: Not a Health Food?

Hold onto your hats, boys and girls:  Cocoa Krispies is apparently not a health food after all!

Advertising Age is reporting that, due to its fear of a backlash arising from “parental concerns that [its] advertising and packaging was preying on fears of the H1N1 virus,” Kellogg Company, the billion-dollar-a-year profit engine that peddles Cocoa Krispies and other junk food, is removing preposterous “anti-oxidant” claims from Cocoa Krispies boxes.

Here is Kellogg’s official announcement:

Kellogg Company today announced its decision to discontinue the immunity statements on Kellogg’s Rice Krispies cereals.

Last year, Kellogg Company started the development of adding antioxidants to Rice Krispies cereals. This is one way the Company responded to parents indicating their desire for more positive nutrition in kids’ cereal.

While science shows that these antioxidants help support the immune system, given the public attention on H1N1, the Company decided to make this change. The communication will be on pack for the next few months as packaging flows through store shelves. We will, however, continue to provide the increased amounts of vitamins A, B, C and E (25% Daily Value) that the cereal offers.

We will continue to respond to the desire for improved nutrition, and we are committed to communicating the importance of nutrition to our consumers.

Let’s run that through our handy-dandy, unpatented Consumer Trap Marketing-to-English Translator, shall we?

The results:

Kellogg Company today announced its decision to discontinue the immunity statements on Kellogg’s Rice Krispies cereals.  Meanwhile, we won’t tell you here that by “Rice Krispies,” we also mean “Cocoa Krispies.”  Including that fact would disclose that we are basically selling candy here.

Last year, Kellogg Company started the development of adding antioxidants to Rice Krispies and Cocoa Krispies cereals. This is one way the Company responded to parents‘ indicating their desire for vulnerability to deceptive claims about more positive nutrition in kids’ cereal lives.

While science* shows suggests that these antioxidants may help support the immune system, given the public attention on that we know our vitamin-sprayed sugar crunch doesn’t have a prayer of preventing H1N1, the Company decided to make this change. The communication will be on pack for the next few months as packaging flows through store shelves. After all, it would cost us money to remove them now. We will, however, continue to provide spray on the increased amounts of vitamins A, B, C and E (25% Daily Value) that the cereal offers continues to provide us with an excuse for passing our product off as [wink, wink, make air quotes] “part of a nutritious breakfast.“

We will continue to respond to ignore both the desire for improved nutrition and the nutritional and economic inferiority of our mega-processed and packaged product to plain old whole-grain bread, and we are committed to communicating the importance suppressing knowledge of nutrition and home economics to among our consumers targets.

Fuck you, and goodnight.

*When science is even conceivably on our side, it is absolute truth.  Climate change?  Dangers of excessive sugar intake?  Needs more research.

Wednesday, October 7th, 2009

Shame Has No Place in Marketing

The Coca-Cola Corporation peddles its “Vitamin Water” brand of sugar-water as a vehicle for harvesting dollars from the long-standing (and largely business-implanted) public over-estimation of what vitamins are and what they do for human health and performance. A decent society would ban this pointless, cynical landfill fodder, and fine Coca-Cola for planning and promulgating it.

Something milder than that has happened in Britain, according to Advertising Age. There, the Advertising Standards Authority (an unthinkable institutional possibility here in the USA, of course) has told Coke it can’t run its normal ads for Vitamin Water, due to their blatant, exploitative falsity (which, of course, is the same thing as the brand’s very purpose and plan).

The news there, though, is more about the shameless, laughable lies Coke presented in its losing attempt at self-defense. As reported by Ad Age:

One poster was headlined “More muscles than brussels.” The complaints challenged the implication that the drink’s health benefits made it equivalent to eating brussels sprouts — a popular U.K. winter vegetable. Coca-Cola claimed that the phrase was instead a reference to former action-movie star Jean Claude Van Damme, who is commonly labeled the “Muscles from Brussels,” referring to his origins in the Belgian city.

Another ad claimed, “Keep perky when you’re feeling murky.” It jokingly advised consumers that if you drink Glaceau Vitaminwater you won’t have to waste your sick days on real illness, and can use them instead “to just, erm, not go in.” Coca-Cola insisted that the “perky” claim was about mood rather than health, and that it did not imply that the drink could prevent illness.

The ASA also received complaints that the ads promoted the range of drinks as healthy, when in fact they contain high levels of sugar. Coca-Cola’s defense was that the products are clearly labeled, and that 7.5 grams of sugar in 100 milliliters is not a “high sugar” content. However, the ASA upheld the complaints because the sugar contained in one Glaceau Vitaminwater represents 26% of an adult’s recommended daily sugar allowance.

It would make an excellent project to study the course of other corporate defenses to ASA charges. These speak volumes about the depth of dishonesty and contempt at the very heart of big business marketing.

Sunday, October 4th, 2009

What’s Behind a Brand?

The frozen hamburgers that the Smiths ate, which were made by the food giant Cargill, were labeled “American Chef’s Selection Angus Beef Patties.” Yet confidential grinding logs and other Cargill records show that the hamburgers were made from a mix of slaughterhouse trimmings and a mash-like product derived from scraps that were ground together at a plant in Wisconsin. The ingredients came from slaughterhouses in Nebraska, Texas and Uruguay, and from a South Dakota company that processes fatty trimmings and treats them with ammonia to kill bacteria.