Archive for the 'Assholes' Category
Wednesday, March 10th, 2010
Greenwash: Hot Advice from a Pro
As somebody once observed, the heart of man is a wonderful thing, especially when it is carried in his wallet.
Same goes for the heart of a woman, of course.
To, wit, the latest issue of Advertising Age conveys the fabulous wisdom and morality of attorney Randi W. Singer, “litigation partner in the New York office of Weil, Gotshal & Manges,” whose “practice focuses on copyright and Lanham Act false advertising and trademark litigation, as well as media, music licensing, First Amendment and other intellectual property issues” on behalf of “the world’s most sophisticated clients.”
In a column titled “Going Green the Smart (and Legal) Way,” Ms. Singer writes:
Unless you’ve been living under a rock in a remote part of the ever-dwindling rain forest, you know that a sure-fire way to get consumers to pay more for your products even in these difficult times is to make some “green” claims. And if you can time your ads to coincide with events such as Earth Day or convince the federal government to expedite the review for your green technology patent all the better. Bonus points for naming an actual shopping day “Green Monday” or changing the color of your logo to green.
Of course, Ms. Singer knows “going green” doesn’t mean going green, even in narrow terms:
But before jumping on the green bandwagon, it’s important to do your homework. Last summer, the Federal Trade Commission issued complaints against Kmart, Tender Corp. and Dyna-E International for making false and unsubstantiated claims of “biodegradability.” On the heels of those complaints, the FTC went after a number of companies that claimed their products were green because they were made of bamboo when, in fact, they were made of rayon — a man-made fiber that is technically created from the cellulose found in plants and trees, but only after it is chemically dissolved through a process that releases various pollutants. (After settling with the manufacturers, the FTC followed up with warning letters to 78 retailers, including Bloomingdale’s, Macy’s and Target). S.C. Johnson & Son faces a class action suit alleging that placing a proprietary “Greenlist” seal on its Windex window cleaning products misled consumers into believing that the products were independently certified by a third party (the Greenlist was actually an S.C. Johnson-conceived program). And following review by the National Advertising Division, the advertising industry’s self-regulatory forum, Clorox Co. decided to voluntarily discontinue claims that its Green Works Natural Cleaning Wipes were biodegradable, and MasterNet was advised to stop making claims that its plastic netting packaging products “saved countless trees from destruction.”
So, “What’s a would-be green marketer to do?”
Keep making those “green” (in quotation marks) claims, but be careful, and know your corporate lawyer’s number!
Sunday, March 7th, 2010
More News from the Supply-Side Bailout
They bail themselves out. Then they prepare to repeat what caused the need for a bailout in the first place. Of course. They are a late-imperial overclass that stopped listening to anything but their own cant 30+ years ago.
From the latest Business Week comes a report on how this is happening in the housing(-bubble) sector, in which the big players are now apparently buying up land thinking they’ll get back to 1995:
An additional boost came last year when Congress passed a law allowing companies to get refunds on past years’ tax payments by applying their recent losses to earnings dating back five years. Many sold land at big losses to boost their refunds. The result was a windfall of $2.3 billion for the builders as a group, including $800 million for No. 1 Pulte Homes.
The result of those balance-sheet heroics? Builders have more than $12 billion in cash they can use to replenish their land inventory. Pulte and D.R. Horton each had $1.9 billion in cash and near-term equivalents at the end of December, Toll Brothers had $1.6 billion at the end of January, Lennar had $1.3 billion, and KB Home had $1.2 billion at the end of November.
[These corporate builders'] interest in unfinished land usually comes later in the housing cycle, says Thomas E. Lucas, senior vice-president of operations for DMB in Scottsdale. “We didn’t think we’d sell raw land for three to four years,” Lucas says. That’s a striking vote of confidence considering the threats to housing from high unemployment, rising mortgage rates, and foreclosures.
Can you imagine non-capitalists ever being allowed to rewrite their income tax returns to minimize what they owe?
In any event, it’s clear that, in yet another economic sector, capital has been restored, but has no idea what to do with itself. So, despite their unwillingness or inability to lift a finger to help their own potential customers, they nonetheless presume something, somehow will return them to “normalcy.” Probably their own glorious entrepreneurial spirit, I suppose…
Thanks again, Obama, for all this “change.”
Monday, March 1st, 2010
Shameless, Simply Shameless
From the top on down, the Obama Administration is as full of shameless liars as any before.
Take the case of Peter Orszag, Obama’s budget director. This prep-school douche, who grew up in Massachusetts but likes country music, just said this to Business Week about medical insurance in the United States [emphasis added]:
Currently, overall health care is about 16% of GDP. It is projected to rapidly increase. In 10 years, it will increase by a few percentage points as a share of GDP. But the issue is it continues thereafter. And the thing that’s important about the bills under consideration—the single most important thing we can do—is to move the incentive system for providers, hospitals, and doctors away from paying for more stuff. The problem is that we currently do not know exactly how to design that system.
Also quite revealing about what’s going to happen after they pass “reform.”
Saturday, February 20th, 2010
American Un-Civilization
The demand of the American Revolution was “No taxation without representation.” It was not “No taxation.”
A hundred years later, Oliver Wendell Holmes frequently repeated the aphorism “Taxes are the price of civilization.”
Now, facing profound national and global problems in the make-it-or-break 21st century, we have numb-nutters running around dressing up like Thomas Paine (who would have hated their guts) while being pandered to by morons like Scott Brown, who defends psychotic, murdering crooks by saying “Certainly, no one likes paying taxes, obviously.”
The childishness of it all is breathtaking. Do you like having a road on which to operate your motor vehicle? A school for your child? Are you one of the dupes who think “our troops” are fighting “for us”? Do you enjoy knowing that the fire department will arrive if your house catches fire or you go into cardiac arrest? Do you admit any contradiction between enjoying these things and Mr. Brown’s (massively dishonest — the Republican Party is never going to reduce the size of government, as doing so would draw a Depression that would make this Great Recession look like a Golden Age of prosperity) advocacy of an utterly juvenile anti-social worldview?
Not that the lying, bought-and-sold Democrats are an ounce better…
Friday, February 12th, 2010
James Randi, Dedicated Irrationalist
Now, beneath his ads for VISA cards, he’s publishing sophomoric excuses for corporate marketing. Disgusting hypocrisy.
Wednesday, January 27th, 2010
Orwell Would be Unpublished Now
I swear, the most skilled dystopian novelist couldn’t make this stuff up:
Beverly Hills, Calif., Jan 17, 2010 – Nominees, presenters and performers arriving to “The 67th Annual Golden Globe Awards” will have an opportunity to help raise money for Haitian relief efforts with a simple signature. Positioned at the entrance of the Beverly Hilton Hotel is President and Chief Executive Officer for the Chrysler Brand, Chrysler Group LLC, Olivier Francois’ personal car, a Chrysler 300C. Francois donated his vehicle so that attendees to the ceremony could place their signature upon the sedan which could then be donated for auction to specifically raise money for Haiti relief efforts.
“Looking at the devastation this catastrophe has caused to an already impoverished country,there is no doubt that we have a social responsibility to assist in any way that we can. This will not be the only funding we will provide to this country on behalf of the Chrysler Brand and Chrysler Group LLC, there is more to come.”said Olivier Francois, President and Chief Executive Office – Chrysler Brand, Chrysler Group LLC. “We are pleased to join hands with Hollywood to offer this gesture as part of the relief efforts toward Haiti. And, to my colleague, Dodge Brand President and Chief Executive Officer, who is of Haitian-descent, and to all Haitian-Americans with family in Haiti, our thoughts are with you.”
The Chrysler 300C that will be donated for auction is expected to raise approximately 1 million dollars.
Chrysler Joins Stars for a Cause to Auction Chrysler 300 “eco style” Edition Vehicles
The Chrysler brand, together with Dick Clark Productions, has also partnered with Stars for a Cause to donate six eco-friendly accessorized vehicles that will be auctioned off to select celebrity charities.
Nominee Meryl Streep, presenters Christina Aguilera, Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks and Felicity Huffman and actor Colin Firth will arrive to the Golden Globes in their select Chrysler 300 eco style limited edition vehicle, which will be donated and auctioned to the charity of their choice.
Based off of the Chrysler 300C, the most-awarded vehicle in the industry, the eco style edition vehicles are accessorized with eco-friendly materials such as cork, bamboo, recycled jute carpeting and suede seat inserts and feature refurbished wheels while providing high-end luxury and elegant design. The vehicles feature a refined interior, premium technology and offer fuel-efficient performance and excitement.
Each of the celebrities will arrive to the awards in their select vehicles:
* Presenter Christina Aguilera’s Chrysler 300 eco style vehicle features a water-based Vanilla exterior color. On the inside are cactus-colored seat-inserts with bamboo applique placed on the door trim and center console
* Presenter Leonardo DiCaprio’s vehicle has Cream exterior and Aqua-blue seat inserts, a hydrographic water-themed applique is subtly placed throughout the interior
* Actor Colin Firth’s vehicle features a stately and sleek Black exterior color with Black Bamboo interior accents
* Presenter Tom Hanks will arrive to the awards in an elegant Black Chrysler 300 eco style edition vehicle with Curry seat-inserts and organic appliques
* Presenter Felicity Huffman will arrive in a Dark Cordovan vehicle with a stained Cordovan cork interior color
* Nominee Meryl Streep’s vehicle features a Platinum exterior and on the interior are Cumin-colored seat-inserts along with natural mat and cork materials
Recycled materials are used within the interior of the vehicle. Recycled ultra-suede seat inserts are used for the front and rear-passenger seats and are soft to the touch and durable. Hydrographics patterns are used to place organic themes on the center console and door trim of the interior compartment. Water-based paints are used on the exterior of the vehicle.
And here’s the kicker:
Under the hood is the 5.7-liter HEMI® engine with Muliti-displacement System (MDS). MDS seamlessly alternates between smooth high-fuel-economy four-cylinder mode when less power is needed and V-8 mode when more power is needed. MDS optimizes fuel economy without sacrificing vehicle performance.
If you know anything about physics, you know that a 5.7-liter engine is a huge motor. If you know that, then you won’t be surprised by the EPA mileage rating of this “eco-style” engine: 15 city/23 highway!
This is the “new” stuff that’s being peddled, after Obama’s automotive bailout, after the arrival of supposedly better European managers…
And, of course, don’t you just want to weep with gratitude at the sacrifices that were made all around for the people of Haiti? As part of being honored from churning out yet another year of unwatchable pablum about cops and robbers and saints in surgical garb, the attendees at one of the multiple versions of the Hollywood Employee of the Year Banquet “raised” perhaps 1/10th of what was spent on the “awards ceremony” — “for Haiti.” All, of course, while pimping for Chrysler’s deranged ecocidal waste-pushing.
