What the Automotive Bailout Bought

roflmfao Remember that Obama-designed bailout of the automotive capitalists, the one that will direct at least 130 billion no-ownership-exercised public dollars to what remains of the real-economy vanguard of our mortally decrepit overclass?

What changes has the bailout cash facilitated, you might wonder.  New, cutting edge cars that out-perform Japanese makes?  Radical MPG improvements?  Exploration of the idea of using existing production equipment to rebuild the nation’s rail stock and infrastructure?

Not so much.

Turns out, the money is retooling marketing strategies, not transportation arrangements.

If by now you’ve finished rolling on the floor laughing your ass off over GM’s new “May the Best Car Win” campaign and perhaps vomiting as you realize that pickup trucks and SUVs remain a central part of the Not-So-Big Three’s plans, consider the latest news out of Chrysler.

According to Automotive News, here is what that pool of investors is planning to do with their free handout:

Chrysler hikes spending to rebuild brands

After five months of near silence on the marketing front, Chrysler Group is roaring back with a new attitude. The automaker is ratcheting up advertising this quarter and plans to do so in each of the next two years, CFO Richard Palmer said last week. He spoke at the unveiling of Chrysler’s five-year plan under Fiat S.p.A., which took control of Chrysler as it emerged from bankruptcy in June.

Chrysler Group vehicle sales fell 30 percent last month from a year earlier and are down 39 percent this year through October. CEO Sergio Marchionne said, “I can give you one reason: The fact that we’ve been incredibly quiet for the last five months, so the marketing positions of all our brands have been incredibly weak.”

Chrysler’s plan is big — literally. Three experts who attended the meeting were given a loose-leaf binder 2 inches thick outlining it.

Continue to See Chrysler’s “New” Marketing Ideas…

A Dodge Indeed: “Gas Prices” or Carmageddon?

“America is addicted to oil,” but only because the world’s capitalist overclass is addicted to perpetuating the automobiles-über-alles transportation order of the United States.

To any rational observer of current events, this remarkable arrangement is now massively and multiply promising to become perhaps history’s greatest teacher of the lesson “Be careful what you ask for — you might get it.”

Always a capitalist’s wet dream, the reign of the private automobile was always basically inevitable in the United States, where the flux and flow of human and national histories gave corporate shareholders their clearest path to essentially unchecked power and an ensuing paradise of industrial-scale money-making. Contrary to mainstream dogma, ordinary people would never have spontaneously used democracy to demand the wildly expensive, destructive, and dangerous cars-first American situation. Only an overclass that thrives on waste and enjoys extremely deep political dominance could have called it forth, via Promethean assumptions and methods.

So, now that the wheels are undeniably starting to fall off, is the overclass likely to break the historical rule that entrenched elites never voluntarily give up their powers and privileges? Will the powers-that-be admit they fucked up, and start allowing discussion of their fuck-up?

You can judge the odds of that happening by pondering items such as Daimler-Chrysler’s latest avoidance tactic, the “$2.99 Gas Guarantee.”

You can expect no efforts to be spared to keep the impending arrival of Carmageddon to be labeled a problem of “gas prices,” “oil addiction,” “alternative fuels,” etc. — anything and everything but what it actually is: capitalism’s self-dug grave.