Capitalist Greens Take Flying, Lying Cliff Jump

Sitting in my dentist’s chair this morning, I heard the new ad campaign from “, A National Coalition for the Environment,” a.k.a. the big mainstream green lobbying groups.

In standard political marketing procedure, the ad, titled “Get Working with Clean Energy,” failed to disclose who its sponsors were.

Much worse, however, is that, if you happen to know the first thing about reality, the ad signals the death-by-suicide of mainstream environmental politics:

Clean energy sources not only provide real solutions to today’s energy mess, they also are essential to solving global warming and will create millions of jobs. Reducing global warming emissions from today’s energy industry will require a substantial shift in investments from the polluting, insecure energy sources of the past to the clean, sustainable energy sources of the 21st Century. That investment not only holds the potential for reduced energy costs and will reduce global warming emissions, but it will spur huge growth in green jobs—making the new cars we need, insulating homes, building a smart power grid and new power sources like wind turbines, and producing clean fuels from America’s heartland.

Fortunately, many of the technologies we need to transition into our clean energy future already exist, and deploying them can build a stronger economy. In fact, achieving a clean energy economy through green solutions and industries such as wind power, solar power, building retrofitting, mass transit, fuel-efficient automobiles, and cellulosic biomass fuels will create high demand for jobs, in addition to those that already exist.

This is a huge shitpot of lies and extremely wishful thoughts. What clean fuels of the 21st century? What cellulosic biofuels? What fuel-efficient automobiles?

“Clean fuels” do not exist on anything like a scale and a geothermal efficiency level sufficient to replace even a fraction of the petroleum, natural gas, and coal we now use.

Cellulosic biofuels remain an early and expensive laboratory experiment, and are commercially unavailable.

Driving cars — i.e. 2,000+ pounds of highly processed metals and plastics — as the primary means of getting around town is like slicing bread with a chainsaw. “Fuel-efficient automobiles” is an oxymoron.

Growing corn to make moonshine to replace gasoline is as hopeless as it is recklessly wasteful of Earth’s remaining supplies of water and agricultural land.

Nonetheless, here’s come the corporate greens, peddling this disgusting, sad, predictable raft of fictions.

Conclusion? Goodbye to the sponsors:

Environment America
Environmental Defense Fund
League of Conservation Voters
National Audubon Society
National Wildlife Federation
Natural Resources Defense Council
Pew Environment Group
Sierra Club
Union of Concerned Scientists

You are now unequivocally part of the problem.