Advertising Age‘s February 25 issue reports that the Cott Corporation, “the world’s largest retailer brand soft drink provider,” has just begun marketing Fortifido, a bottled “vitamin water” for dogs!
One could comment on how the whole “vitamin water” marketing scam preys on people’s old-fashioned ignorance about vitamins and human (and now canine) health. One could also comment on the ecological disaster of ever-expanding plastic bottle production, as well as on its deep connections to the human race’s oncoming hydrocarbon supply crisis.
But the largest point is simply more Visual Evidence of Extreme Depravity.
Obviously, the idea of bottling water for dogs is not nearly enough to disturb the corporate capitalist conscience. Indeed, you can tell just how sensitive to human needs the renowned entrepreneurial soul really is by taking a gander at another photo from the self-same February 25 issue of Advertising Age:
What product is that woman using? Why, it’s the LifeStraw, of course! This winner of AdAge’s “Work of the Week” honor is:
the Vestergaard Frandsen Group’s mobile personal filtration system, otherwise known as LifeStraw. It is a powder-blue plastic tube—much thicker than an ordinary straw—containing filters that make water teeming with typhoid-, cholera- and diarrhea-causing microorganisms drinkable.
In other words, it is a specially filtered straw manufactured and sold at a profit by a Danish “humanitarian entreneurialism” corporation. It allows residents of the drought-plagued Third World, where daily household incomes are usually less than the price of a single bottle of “Fortifido,” to minimize the risk of drinking warm, fetid water from puddles.
If only Dr. Pangloss were here to witness this proof that capitalism really has put the best of all possible worlds beneath our very feet!
Drink it up, you lucky, lucky people!