Pandora’s Hidden Box

Friends of mine recently gushed about their adoration of www.pandora.com, a new internet radio station that intelligently adapts what it plays based on what you tell it you like.

Based on their swooning endorsement and on the greatness of the idea of intelligently adapting internet radio, I went to the Pandora site to try it out.

Upon arrival, you get the very distinct impression that you are at a site run by computer geeks who simply love you and love music. Both the site’s tone and the nerdy, non-commercial-sounding name of its parent organization — the Music Genome Project — make Pandora seem for all the world like it’s an open-source, not-for profit labor of such love. (This strategic mis-impression is crucially replicated on Wikipedia, by the way.)

But guess what? This bubble quickly pops, if you know your stuff: In reality, Pandora is quite the opposite of what it presents itself to be. In reality, it is nothing more than a gigantic marketing Trojan Horse that uses the above impression plus an utterly shameless lie to insert itself onto your computer, and thereby into your life and your marketing profile.

Here’s the Big Lie:

“At Pandora, we have a single mission: To play music you’ll love – and nothing else.”

Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit! This is simply utterly, utterly knowingly and calculatingly false. Wrong. As big a lie as there is anywhere.

Pandora’s actual purpose — the one that’s certainly both the real core of the business plan and the topic of every board meeting — is to be found, with a bit of digging and a knowledge of what big business marketing is and how it works, buried in the pandora.com fine print:

In other words, truth be told, what pandora.com REALLY is is three things:

1. A website that trades you song recommendations in exchange for your name, address, and email address (and, hence, the ability, via other marketing databases, to know all about you and your demographic characteristics) and a huge amount of unique, detailed, and extremely commercially valuable data about the inter-relationship of tastes and personal traits among people who share your particular demography and social statuses.

2. A website that attempts to deny that it has any “backside” interest in the rich marketing data it gathers about your “demographic” with your active but (unless you read and contemplate the true — and unexplained-by-Pandora — meaning of the “privacy statement” where they admit the truth) uninformed cooperation.

3. A business that undoubtedly makes heaps of cash selling its oh-so-cleverly “harvested” and essentially stolen demographic and psychographic data to other corporations, which are themselves seeking to hone their own marketing campaigns by better “targeting” you for future manipulations and frauds.

[Note: The assurances about “individually identifiable information” arereally beside the point.  Corporate capitalists are interested in teaching themselves to better manipulate groups like yours, not in stealing your identity.]

Behind its closed doors, Pandora, in other words, does indeed have a single mission and nothing else — to dishonestly exploit your passion for music and your use of the internet for its own investors’ personal gain.

If the FTC hadn’t been kept in a coma for the last 30 years, the blatant gulf between Pandora’s “about”-page “single mission — and nothing else” promise and its actual design and operation would be quickly and harshly punished. At a minimum, Pandora’s investors would have to tell you what kind of box you are about to open…

Meanwhile, I urge everybody to avoid this scam. If you have a Pandora account, close it and send them a message of protest. Until somebody with principles offers a not-for-profit version of this thing, keep finding your own new songs. Above all, don’t give our overclass a free gift of more ammunition for running its decrepit dictatorship over what products we make and use. The Earth is, as they say, “in the balance.”

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Michael DawsonDrZinMichael DawsonGail Bloomer Recent comment authors

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Gail Bloomer
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Gail Bloomer

I submitted my personal name, e-mail and password to register with Pandora at http://www.pandora.com. Once I was registered none of the music would play. It played before I registered, but not afterward. I went thru all their FAQ’s to make sure I fulfilled all of their requirements which I did….still no music. I immediately asked them to remove my registration and all information that had been supplied to them regarding myself and my account.

DrZin
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DrZin

“I urge everybody to avoid this scam. If you have a Pandora account, close it and send them a message of protest.” Dear Pandora, I can’t believe the criminal gall of your cyber-robbery! To think that I confided my e-mail address to you and allowed you to tap into my highly personal and profoundly valuable music preferences and all I got was dozens of hours of cost-free, high quality music tailored to said preferences. I’m so offended by this capitalist rape-crime, I’m going to call up NOFX and some of the most stick-it-to-the-manningest music you’ve ever contemplated on your website!… Read more »

Michael Dawson
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Nice ball of ignorance, ClarkHo5/Dr. Zin. Do you work for Pandora, or are you just an ideological victim?

Good luck with capitalism, too. You’ll need it.