The Future of Schools

In market-totalitarian America, everything must serve the overclass, and increasingly so. Hence, the latest marketing platform? The institution known as school. Per Ad Age:

Kleenex (an ecocidal marketing/waste endeavor of Kimberly-Clark Worldwide, Inc.) had approached Studiocom with an interesting challenge: create a back-to-school push promoting the brand’s “stronger, more absorbent tissues.” Problem was, “No one cares when a brand says something like this,” said Creative Director Todd Slutzky. “It’s basically a meaningless statement like ‘new and improved.'” So the Studiocom team decided to put the brand to the ultimate test–in the hands of some science savvy kids. The agency went out to the top 100 science elementary and middle schools around the U.S. and asked them to come up with creative ideas to test the strength of the new tissues.

Ten of the schools took part, each backed by $5,000 funding from Kleenex. The Studiocom team then captured the most creative and compelling “Xperiments” on film.

Here’s the smarm and teacher prostitution that “positions” this appalling trick:

Gosh, I wonder how Kleenexes would do in a strength test against the cloth handkerchieves they are designed to obscure. Science anybody?

Gender Reveal Parties

My colleague informed me today that “gender reveal parties” are a big new thing among expecting parents.

Just when you think you’re inured to the march of commercialism, commodification, and the resulting culture of narcissistic idiocy and waste, along comes such a thing and knocks you off your chair once again.

These things are, of course, sponsored. Parents magazine is a property of the Meredith Corporation media (read: marketing) conglomerate. Babies R Us has obvious interests in pushing them. The corporate morning lifestyle “news” shows are onboard, too.

One wonders which is more essential to the trend, the rank, implanted stupidity or the self-indulgence.

The brainlessness shows itself in the very name of the trend. What’s revealed in an ultrasound (among other, far more important things like the existence of arms, legs, brain, etc.) is SEX, not gender. Sex is your tackle. Gender is what you’re trained to do about that equipment after you are born.

Meanwhile, as for the advancing tendency to treat child-raising as just another “consumer” experience, this quote says it all:

“The first one, we found out the sex when we had the ultrasound, the second we waited until she was born and the third we had a gender reveal,” said Ms. Wageman, a stay-at-home mom. “I couldn’t say which was best because they were all such unique experiences.”