A Note on Art and Capitalism

spiderman As the United States hurtles toward catastrophe and collapse, the gulf between its problems and the content of its drama, to say nothing of what passes for its journalism, yawns ever wider. As rapidly as energy crisis, economic royalism, military lawlessness, and ecological holocaust unfold, so grows the vacuity of stage and screen.

Case in point: Spiderman, yes, Spiderman, the musical. Surely planned as the ultimate money-making operation ever on Broadway, this shitheap is apparently instead proving that, at some point, exploitation and commercialism and willful adolescence must meet the laws of physics and societies.

Per The New York Times:

Once envisioned as a $25 million musical, “Spider-Man” is now the most expensive ever. Four cast members have been injured, one seriously. Three lead actors left. Flying scenes have regularly malfunctioned. Money nearly ran out at one point. Reviews have been terrible, and some actors are trying to get out of their contracts early.

All in the name of dramatizing a comic book for pre-teens!

One can only hope that the always modest* yet somehow tax-dodging, butt-kissing creep Paul David Hewson, a.k.a. Bono, not only had a major hand in the musical scoring of this nightmare, but is also one of its primary investors. Tell us, kind Sir, how much could many places in Africa use the $65 million dollars that have been dumped into this cynical ploy?

*Bono on His (and I do mean capital-H “His”) Spiderman work: “Creating art that has never been done before is the reason I get out of bed in the morning.”

More Howlers from Hewson

bono Speaking of smarmy and dishonest shills for capitalism, our favorite musically tapped-out tax-dodging huckster megalomaniac is back at it.  From among the latest batch:

The United States is “a nation that finds joy in the impossible.”

The Kennedys, the missile-gapping stiffers of MLK, the architects of escalation and covert regime change (when their boy Diem started displaying signs of softness) in Vietnam, “had no patience for the status quo.”

The Peace Corps “changed the world” and did something — something unnamed, of course — to reduce poverty and injustice.

Going to Catholic Mass every day?  Not a pathetic, anachronistic, pointless, holier-than-thou gesture, but “an act of rebellion against brutal modernity.”

Love that soft-hearted, tender, indulgent, not brutal stuff the Mass-meisters did before we went and got all modern…

Well, anyhow, you do have to hand it to somebody with the capacity to lie to himself and others at this level and still keep his legs moving.

Shitbag of the Month: Paul David Hewson

bono pope Urbandictionary.com defines “shitbag” as “a) a very lazy person b) one who deceptively hides their lack of work or effort.”

Bono, in other words.

This shameless mofo not only hasn’t produced a listenable note since 1987, but, far worse, he fancies himself a decent person.

How wrong you can get can be assessed by reading his rambling, navel-gazing atrocities in The New York Times, including today’s new one.

The topic?  The wonders of “Africa’s emerging entrepreneurial class.”

Need I mention that using the word “entrepreneur” as a serious category of analysis is perhaps the quickest way to cross oneself off the list of serious analysts?  But Mr. Hewson is a mentally ill tax-dodging multi-millionaire Knight of the British Empire.  An “entrepreneur,” in other words.

Meanwhile, according to Entrepreneur/Pope Bono, “Civil society as a rule sees business as, well, a little uncivil. Business tends to see activists as, well, a little too active.  But in Africa, at least from what I’ve just seen, this is starting to change.”  Yes.  At least from what he’s seen. There’s some science for you.  If Entrepreneur/Pope Bono perceives it, it is real.  ROFLMFAO.

Did I mention Mr. Hewson’s mental illness?  But I digress…

Also according to Entrepreneur/Pope Bono, “Entrepreneurs know that even a good relationship with a bad government stymies foreign investment.”  Foreign investment?  Foreign investment!  I’d say ROFLMFAO to that, too, but here’s where this heinous shitbag gets downright dangerous.  Foreign investors take their money home, don’t they, Paul David Hewson?  In the the Third World, they take it home in wheelbarrows.  Asshead moron imperialist pimp.  The world does not shine out of your stinking butthole.  Fuck you, shitbag.

No Arguing Now: “Bono” is a Moron


So, like the like genius like they like call “Bono,” well, like The like New York like Times like totally ran like an editorial by, like, “Bono.”  Topic?  Ten things “Bono” says need doing to save the world, from the point of view of “Bono,” and of course that’s pretty much the voice of God, isn’t it?

Anyhow, if you think Sarah Palin is dumb and misinformed, you need to pay some attention to her competition here.

Literally, literally every single word of this latest “Bono” sermon that isn’t meaningless poseur claptrap is stark proof of what a corrupt penis “Bono” has become, or maybe always was.

Permit me to cite just one segment of Sir Blowhole’s stunningly stupid and gullible (or worse) Pontiff-ication.  Here is His saintly take on our transportation needs in the 21st century.  I shit you not:  “Bono,” apparently, wrote this, without intending to make a joke:

Return of the Automobile as a Sexual Object

How is it that the country that made us all fall in love with the automobile has failed, with only a few exceptions, to produce a single family sedan with the style and humor and grace of the cars produced in the ’40s, ’50s and ’60s? Put aside the question of whether those models were male (as in longer, lower and wider, Dr. Freud) or female (as in fender skirts, curvy belt lines and, of course, headlights). Either way, they all had sex appeal. (In Ireland in the ’70s, it was the E-Type Jag that made sense of puberty.) Today, however, we have the mundanity of our marriage to the minivan and the S.U.V. and long-term relationships with midsize cars that are, forgive me, a little heavy in the rear cargo hold.

Are aerodynamics to blame? Economics? Or that most American of inventions, design by committee? It hurts me to say this about democracy (and I know because my band is one), but rarely does majority rule produce something of beauty.

That’s why the Obama administration — while it still holds the keys to the big automakers — ought to put some style fascists into the mix: the genius of Marc Newson … Steve Jobs and Jonny Ive from Apple … Frank Gehry, the architect, and Jeff Koons, the artist. Put the great industrial designers in the front seat, right along with sound financial stewardship … the greener, the cleaner, the meaner on fossil fuels, the sexier for me. Check out the Tesla or the Fisker Karma car, designed by the same team that gave the world the Aston Martin.

You can’t possibly, imaginably make this stuff up!  Nobody would believe you if you did.

“Dr. Freud,” indeed!  Paul Hewson is on the couch!